Denial
by Sapphire Smoke
Summary: It just keeps getting harder for Sophie to say no •Parker/Sophie• PART 2/3 OF THE "I'M NOT ONE OF THEM" SERIES


**Title:** Denial  
**Author:** Sapphire Smoke**  
Fandom:** Leverage**  
Rating:** M**  
Pairing:** Parker/Sophie**  
Series:** Part 2/3 of the _"I'm Not One Of Them"_ Series  
**Summary:** It just keeps getting harder for Sophie to say no.  
**Feedback:** Give it to me, baby ;]

The worst part about having Parker just walk out my door like that was how it made me feel inside.

It felt like my insides were ripping in half, part of me wanted to go after her and apologize, kiss her and make everything better… but the other part, and the more logical part, told me that would be one of the stupidest decisions I could ever make in my life. I can't pretend to have this kind of lifestyle with her, or with any woman for that matter, when it's just not me. It doesn't matter if she makes me smile, or if she makes me feel good about myself when I'm around her. It doesn't matter what my stupid hormones are telling me – the fact is they're just over active and desperate for any type of attention because it's just been _that long_ since I've gotten a decent shag.

But Parker's my friend too, and I didn't want to screw that up either. And, well… I did feel happier when I was around her. And I like that… I like that a lot, actually. Maybe it's selfish… okay it_ is_ selfish, but I still want her around me for those reasons.

And that's why I am currently walking into the office, with a damn bag of marshmallows in hand. A peace offering… or something of that sort.

Parker looks up when I enter her office. I didn't even bother going to my own, just walked straight into hers, just needing to get this whole situation straightened out. "You didn't knock," she says to me, with a blank expression. "You tell me that's rude."

"What?" I ask automatically, and then process what she just said to me. "Oh, I'm sorry." Yeah, that was a bit rude, wasn't it? Parker's just staring at me, her expression unchanged. I shift a bit on my feet then, suddenly feeling a bit uncomfortable. I look down at the bag of marshmallows I'm holding and hold it up a bit so she can see what they are before looking back at her. "I just thought…"

"Is this hush food?" Parker asks me with a confused expression.

"Hush food?" I ask, equally as confused.

"You know, like hush money only with marshmallows," she explains, pointing at it to further enhance her point. "You don't want me to say anything about kissing you." At her last statement her expression no longer was blank, instead a flicker of pain crossed over it. But it was gone just as soon as it appeared, and she once again stared at me blankly.

"What? No, Parker," I say right away, then pause. I look away from her for a moment to add, "Well, I'd rather you didn't, but that's not… that's not why I brought these." I finally look at her again and she looks anxious about what I'm about to say. "I just… uh, well…" Good lord, Sophie, just spit it out. "I'd like you to come back and stay with me."

"Why?" she asks automatically, looking surprised and yet guarded at the same time. She eyed me suspiciously.

"Because it'd make me happy," I say, without thinking. I blush a bit at my bluntness and look down, taking a breath. I didn't revise it though, I just left it out there like that, to let Parker do whatever she wanted with it.

Parker looks at me for a long time, eyes locked on to me, just staring. Then slowly she rises from her desk chair and comes over to me, standing just a foot away from me. Her staring from that close of a vicinity made me feel a bit self conscious so I made a point not to look her in the eye. Then suddenly the bag of marshmallows was gone from my hand, making me look up at her. "We're going to roast these," it wasn't a question; it was a statement.

"If you want, but I only have those candles," I tell her. I don't know how good marshmallows will be over candles.

A long pause before, "I could light a fire in your trash, if you want." She said it in all seriousness too, which worried me immensely. I shake me head directly after her offer, making it clear that that will never happen.

"No. Thank you, but no. Never, please."

Parker cracked a smile then, a real genuine smile, which made me smile as well. "So you'll come back?" I ask.

She nods and replies, "I felt weird asking Hardison to sleep over his house, so I didn't. I was just going to sleep here, but I think your bed would be more comfortable than this floor."

"I would hope so," I reply with a little teasing smile. Parker smiles and looks down a bit, as if she was a bit shy. But Parker is never shy, so I couldn't figure it out. Then she looks back up and is smirking now before she leans in and whispers in my ear, one hand resting delicately on my shoulder, breath against my neck:

"The company is better over your house too."

* * * * *

Parker was not going to stop flirting with me, I knew that. She liked me and she made that _very_ clear. But I found as long as she didn't go too far I actually enjoyed the attention. I like that she would sometimes make me blush, or giggle in that stupid little way that we girls do sometimes. I know I might be giving her the wrong impression by responding to it, but can I really help that I enjoyed it? Plus, I probably already gave her the wrong impression by inviting her back over, so what's one more thing?

"These taste like scented… _crap_, I don't bloody know," I tell her with a look of disgust crossing over my face. I chewed it and swallowed it though, though made a sound that sounded very similar to 'blech' after I had consumed it.

Parker laughed at me. "Because you got wax on it," she tells me, bringing her make shift stick, a knife, up to her mouth to devour the marshmallow on it. She smirks and says with a full mouth, "I saw you do it."

"Swallow your food before you talk," I chide her, then look disgruntled. "And I can't believe you let me eat it, you didn't even_ tell_ me."

"If I told you, then you wouldn't have made that funny face, and then I wouldn't have laughed," Parker responds with a smirk as she grabs for the marshmallow bag and sticks one back on her knife. She looks over at me then, mischief on her face. "You want me to make you one? You seem incapable."

"I am not incapable!" I retort in a huff. But then I study her expression, deciding if her mischief was going to result in a disaster. Not sensing a threat though I say hesitantly, "Alright, fine." Because hell, apparently I can't even make a roasted marshmallow to save my life, let alone cook anything else. Parker was already much more advanced than I was in the cooking area, and that was saying something.

She smiles and holds it over the fire, starting to roast it to perfect golden brown. She tucks a piece of blonde hair behind her ear and studies the cooking as if it's a fascinating process, and I smile a bit as I watch her. There's silence for a moment before I remember something and ask, "Why did you feel weird asking Hardison if you could sleep over there?"

"Because he likes me," she replies automatically, though didn't look at me. She's turning the marshmallow around, being a perfectionist. "And I like you. I didn't want to have to tell him that, I think that would hurt him. He's a good friend, I don't want to do that."

She looks at me then, and the candlelight flickers over her features. She's looking at me like she expects me to say something so I just utter an, "Oh."

I swear I could see her roll her eyes a bit at me, but I couldn't be sure. Instead she took the marshmallow away from the flame and took it off the knife with her fingers before holding it up to my lips. I look at the marshmallow, then I look at her.

I know what she's doing, exactly what she was doing with the pancakes the other morning. But instead of taking it with my fingers like I should have, I wrap my mouth around the marshmallow, taking her fingers with me. I used my tongue to wrap around it to steal it from her grasp, and I could see Parker take a sharp inhale of breath as it came in contact with her fingers. I lock eyes with her the entire time, my brown baring into her green, and when my lips finally fall from her fingertips she looks down and I can see her slightly chewing on the inside of her bottom lip.

I know what I'm doing is wrong, I really do. But I just… I like what I can do to Parker. To have the power… it's just… on so many levels of wrong, of course, but still feels so good. I haven't made someone react this way in a long time, unless it was during a on or to save my own ass. I miss it.

"Thank you," I tell her, barely above a whisper. My voice is lower than normal, and she can tell. Parker's eyes flicker everywhere around the room but my face as I watch her try to slow her breathing. It's only slight, but I can notice it if I'm looking for it, which I am.

Karma is so going to bite me in the ass for this, I'm pretty damn sure. But god… it just feels so _good_. Flirting makes me feel like I'm alive again. Maybe it won't go as far as Parker hopes it will, but a little flirting never harmed anyone, right?

Plus, the most important thing is… it's not gay to just flirt with a woman. You'd have to actually_ do_ stuff. Which I'm so not going to do.

I think.

* * * * *

My curiosity tends to get the best of me sometimes. That's why I was propped up on my elbow in bed, turned to face her as I'm laying on my side as I watch her put her hair into a ponytail for bed. It's also why I asked, "So… have you ever like, done anything with a woman before?"

I see her smirk slightly before she turns to me, "Why do you want to know?"

"I'm just curious," I tell her. Her smirk becomes a bit wider before she slides into bed too, turning to face me as well, propped up on one elbow like I am.

"Once," she replies. I look at her expectantly, wanting to know more. But she doesn't offer up any more details, so I raise my eyebrows at her.

"Isn't it unfulfilling though? I mean there's no… well _you know_, involved."

"A dick?" she asks with a laugh, making me fun of me because I didn't want to say the word. I nod my head though, and she licks her lips before shrugging and leaning back against the pillow, looking at the ceiling. "It's different with a woman. More… sensual, I guess." She shrugged again and then turned her face to look at me. "I actually think it's more satisfying."

"Really?" I ask, doubtful. She nods again before turning her gaze back up to the ceiling.

"Women know what women want," she says simply, then I watch a smile creep across her face. She turned to me again and said, "You can't tell me that when I kissed you that it wasn't one of the best kisses you've ever had."

I blink at her, shocked but amused at the same time. "Well, aren't you the cocky one," I tease.

"I'm serious, Sophie."

"I know you are," I reply, then my gaze drops to the sheets and I shrug a bit as I remember it, turning a little bit pink. "Well, I mean I guess I can't complain about it," I say. Which was the truth, but also emitting the entire part about her actually being right, that was one of the best kisses I've ever had.

Parker just rolled her eyes at me a bit, knowing what I wasn't saying. "You liked it," she said simply with a smirk.

"Shut up," I respond, embarrassed, using my free hand to push her a bit. She turns and opens her mouth in mock shock that I would push her… then she pushes me back. "Hey!" I half complain, but I have a smile on my face.

"You liked it a lot," she teases more, and I push her again a little harder and she squeals a bit as she almost tumbles off the bed. "Sophie!" it was her turn to protest now, but she's grinning a mischievous grin and suddenly I'm nervous. Then she pounces on me, making me yelp and giggle as I try to push her off. "Tell me you liked it!" she giggles as she's trying to hold me down.

"Parker, stop! Ahh!" I half laugh, half cry out my futile protests. But she's straddling me now, and I have nowhere to go. My arms are up in defense, trying to hold her back but then all of a sudden she gets the upper hand and they're pinned over my head. We're both breathing a bit heavy, and suddenly we're both very aware of the position we're in. I start to get nervous butterflies in my stomach and I look up at her.

"Tell me you liked it," she requests again, this time much softer. My breath catches in my throat and my eyes shift to the wall for a moment as I'm silent. "Please," she pleads lightly. I know she knows that I did, but for some reason she needed to hear it.

I look back at her and respond softly, "Yeah… I really liked it."

Silence falls between us again and Parker lets go of my wrists, but doesn't get off of me. We're just sitting there, looking at each other. I feel the familiar urge to kiss her rise up again and I get even more nervous from it being there. I didn't know what to do, I don't know why I keep having these urges and I don't know how to stop them. Will I ever be able to stop them?

And how did Parker's face get so close to me? Wasn't she just at least a foot farther away from me a minute ago?

My breathing's becoming shallower, and Parker's lips are probably only a couple inches away from my own. I look down at them, and then look back up at her. This is bad, this is really _really_ bad.

I can feel my own head start to move a bit closer to hers, very slowly. It's almost as if neither of us are moving but yet we're still getting closer. My eyes flicker closed for a minute, realizing part of this is my own fault. Then I look up at her again, but then her forehead rests gently against mine and her eyes close. I tilt my face up a bit and brush my lips against hers, but then take it away just as quickly. This was the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do in my life: debate on what I wanted to do.

"Sophie…" Parker whispers against my lips, barely audible if not for us being so close, "Please…"

I was feeling so many things then that I did the only logical thing I knew to do: I pressed my lips lightly against hers, kissing her very softly. I could feel Parker let out a small breath as we connected, and I let my head fall back against my pillow as we kissed tentatively. I loved it, and I couldn't deny that. My arms wrapped around her neck and I pulled her closer to me as I parted my lips and let her in. When I felt her tongue against mine I let out a quiet moan, and then started kissing her a little more boldly.

We were like that, her and I, for probably a good ten minutes until Parker broke the kiss softly and bit her bottom lip as she looked down at me. The hazy fog in my head was starting to clear… and I started to get worried again. I knew she could see it too, so I wasn't surprised when she held up her hand as I opened my mouth to speak. "Don't," she said gently, and I closed my mouth. "I already know."

She climbed off of me then and got on her side of the bed as she tucked herself in under the covers. I just watched her, not understanding why she just let it go like that. Did that mean part of me didn't want to let it go? Right now I'm thinking I kind of want her to convince me, but that's so bloody screwed up, isn't it? I just… don't like her like that. I don't.

Then why do I keep wanting to kiss her?

"What?" Parker asks me as she looks at me and notices the expression on my face.

"What? Nothing," I say, caught off guard and thrown out of my own thoughts. Parker didn't say anything for a moment, but then slowly she raised her hand and brought it toward my chest. I think I jumped a mile.

"What's wrong with you?" Parker asks, looking at me like I'm insane. "I was just trying to get the fuzz ball off your shirt." She points at it, and I look down. Sure enough, there was one. I pick it off angrily; the damn thing just embarrassed the hell out of me.

"Nothing, I just thought—"

"—That I wanted to grab your tits? Jeez Sophie, I'm not that impulsive," she gives me a look like I should know better. Which I should, but apparently I don't. Plus, really, Parker is the queen of impulsivity. If she gets the random urge to jump off a damn forty-story building she will without thinking twice. So my assumptions weren't completely invalid.

Why am I defending myself in my head?

"You always tend to be impulsive," I tell her, voicing my thoughts out loud finally.

"But I don't go around grabbing people when they clearly don't want me to," she says looking at me like I should know that too.

Why don't I know anything? I mean really.

"Yeah…" I respond, not knowing what else to say. Am I offending her? Is that even possible?

Parker gave me a look like I was being ridiculous just for saying that, then sighed a bit before turning over. She didn't say goodnight, didn't say anything else to me the rest of the night. All I could do was stare at her for a good half an hour, wondering if I upset her with my assumptions and since I thought that I might, feeling horrible about it.

* * * * *

Parker didn't say anything to me the next morning either. We sat and ate breakfast together in silence, and the tension was driving me insane. I went to take another bite of my eggs but then got so fed up with it that my fork stopped halfway up to my mouth and then I dropped it onto my plate, making a loud clinking noise. Parker looked up at me.

"What's wrong with you?" I ask.

"Nothing," is all she says back, and offers nothing else. I swear to god, this woman is going to drive me insane.

I look at her incredulously, "Then why are you pulling the silent treatment on me?"

"Why is it bothering you?" she counters. I blink, not knowing the answer to that. Why should it? I mean I… no, not going there.

"I just… I mean, you seemed a little upset at me last night," I say, trying to figure her out. She shrugs and takes a bite of her food.

"I was."

Why is she being so short with me? Why can't she just freaking say something useful for once?

"Are you still?" I ask, needing to know.

She put down her fork then and looked at me seriously and said, "If I was, would you apologize?"

"What?" I ask, confused. What did that have to do with anything?

Parker sighs and continues, "Sophie, you dance around an apology, it's stupid. The only time you ever do utter the word sorry is because it's a formality, not because you really are."

I blink, staring at her. How did she…? I mean, how the hell did she end up knowing me that well? I pause for a minute before saying, "I don't think I should have to apologize if I don't feel that I did anything wrong."

"You assumed I was going to molest you," she tells me with a pointed look.

"It's what I thought!" I defended, exasperated. She just rolls her eyes at me a bit before picking up her fork again.

"But you upset me, and you feel bad about that."

"Yeah, so?" I ask, trying to find her point in all this rubbish.

"Look, I don't know a lot about social interaction, but usually when you feel bad about doing something that made someone else upset and you actually _care_ about it, aren't you supposed to apologize?"

I let out an aggravated sigh and lean back in my chair, arms crossed over my chest. She made a good point, and I hate that. It takes me awhile before I mumble, "Fine… I'm sorry."

"What?" she asks, though I know she could hear me.

"I said I'm sorry, okay!" I exclaim and then get up off my chair, mad at myself and mad at her for making me apologize. Mad that she had a point that I should, even though I didn't think I had to. I walk out of the kitchen and back into my living room, flopping down on my sofa. I sigh again and fold my arms into myself. This is stupid.

Parker emerges from the adjoining doorway and looks at me on the couch. I probably look like a spoiled child that didn't get their way, but I didn't care. I hated when people made me do things. I'm usually the one that makes other people do things. I like control. Complete control.

I never seem to have that with Parker, do I?

"Stop pouting," she tells me, though looks slightly amused by it.

"Sod off," I grumble, and she giggles. The fact that she finds my grumpiness amusing makes me ever grumpier.

Parker comes over to me, sitting next to me on the couch. I make a point not to look at her, staring at the wall instead. I see her smirk out of the corner of my eye though and she says, "You're cute when you're angry." I look over at her then and roll my eyes. Parker's grin widens and she continues, "Makes me want to kiss you."

My eyes widen then but then I narrow them and respond, "You always want to kiss me."

She shrugs and says, "That's true."

There's silence between us then. She's still smiling at me and I'm still trying to look angry, but it's kind of difficult because whenever Parker smiles it makes me want to too. We sit there for a little, my scowl faltering before she asks, "So why aren't you telling me not to?" She shifts a bit on the couch, coming closer to me. I don't move.

"Don't," I say automatically, still trying to continue to look angry. But Parker's hand is on my thigh now and I look down at it before looking back up at her. My scowl is gone now.

"Don't what?" she asks innocently, like she doesn't know. I roll my eyes playfully, a smirk creeping on to my lips.

"You know what," I tell her. Then my breath catches in my throat a second as Parker's fingers start tracing little circles on my thigh. She leans back on the couch, propping her head up with her hand near my face. I look down, feeling shy all of a sudden.

"Tell me," she prods before running her nails up my thigh over my skirt. I gasp softly and close my eyes for a moment, not remembering what the hell I was even supposed to be mad about in the first place, and sure as hell not remembering that I'm straight.

Why doesn't she keep doing this to me?

Her face is barely and inch away from mine now and I just give up. I can't keep doing this, can I? It keeps getting harder, and each time I just keep failing so fuck it, why not, right? As long as no one knows, denial is a great place to be.

"I can't," I tell her breathlessly before letting go of all my previous inhibitions and kissing her myself. It wasn't slow; it wasn't soft like all the others. This time I went at her with full force, crashing our lips together and wrapping my arms around her neck, pulling her towards me. I can feel her gasp at the suddenness of it, but after she recovers she's using just as much force.

Suddenly we're nothing but two horny teenagers.

"Oh god," I gasp out as her lips fall to my neck and she bites me with just enough force that it drives me insane. I grasp at her tank top as she lowers me down at the couch, and I push it up to expose her stomach before raking my nails down her sides. "Bloody hell," escapes me as her lips are on my throat and her hands are wandering up my shirt.

I arch my back, needing to feel her touch me… but she doesn't. I don't understand why, but then I remember. "Parker," I say breathlessly, and she looks down at me. "Yes… just yes, okay? Just don't make me think or I'll stop… _please_."

I thought that would make her continue, but instead she just sighed heavily and got off of me. I stared at her, not knowing what the hell is going on. I sit up and look at her like she might possibly be insane, "Why did you _stop?"_

"You'll just never get it, will you?" she asks and looks at me like I disappointed her. That plus my intense sexual frustration started to get me angry.

"What the hell? I tell you that you can bloody fuck me and you just get up and walk away?!"

"I don't want to just _fuck _you, Sophie!" Parker yells at me, making me get taken aback for a second. Parker doesn't usually yell, and she's never at me before.

"Well then why…?" I start, but can't finish.

"You want to fuck me, but you don't want to think about it, right? Because then you'd feel disgusting, or whatever. For liking women. For being _like me_." She shakes her head and looks down at me like I'm the one that disgusts her. "And it's stupid that you can't just accept yourself. It's actually… it's actually kind of pathetic."

I sit there, stunned into silence by my shock. Did she just call me _pathetic?_

Then I blow up, both me and my other apparent stupid personality that wants to fuck this woman in front of me. "I'm pathetic? You're the one that's been acting like you'd kiss the ground I bleeding walk on!"

"That makes me bad now? I'm sorry I actually care about you!"

I get up then, not needing to be the only one sitting. It makes me feel more powerful when I'm raised to full height. "You care about someone who can never return your feelings! If that's not what being pathetic is about, then please give me the dictionary with the correct definition so I can revise myself and tell you _exactly _what variant of the word you are!"

Parker looked at me like she couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth, and if I was to be honest I couldn't either. Why am I this angry? Why do I—

"And yet not five minutes ago you begged me to fuck you." She looked at me venomously and then mocked a variant of the words that came out of my mouth when we were lying there, "Yes, Parker. _Please…"_

The slap came out of no where, I didn't even know my hand had moved until it connected with her face, and then suddenly I was shoved hard up against the wall, pinned to it. Parker had a dangerous look in her eye. "Don't go here, Sophie. You know I can fight, and I know you can't."

I struggled to get her off of me, but she wouldn't let me go. She was worried that I was going to try to hit her again, which the thought did cross my mind, but I'm not suicidal. Parker would instinctually defend herself, and I would come out of it not looking so pretty anymore.

She lets go of me finally and says, "God, I can't believe I fell for someone this _stupid_." And as she says the last word she shoves me again back into the wall, which makes me shove her back instinctively. She looks at me angry and pushes me again and I grab her shirt and push her back again though still hold onto her, and as she bounces back my lips crash into hers.

Parker gasps in shock and pushes herself off of me, breathing heavily, looking both angry and confused. I didn't know why I did that, I just wanted to. So I say, "You're the one that's stupid." Then my hands come down to grab the hem of my shirt and suddenly I'm pulling it over my head, discarding it to the floor. She looks at me like I might be insane, and hell, I just might. I'm just so damn turned on all of a sudden, even more than I was before. "Fuck me, Parker," I tell her seriously as I unclasp my bra before pushing her again. "Fuck me_ now_."

"No," she says, but her eyes aren't on my face, and she didn't seem too sure of herself anymore. She's staring at my chest, her breathing becoming more pronounced. I push her again, loving getting her all riled up and angry for some reason. She glares and pushes me back into the wall, pinning me there. I smirk and grab the belt on her pants and start to undo it, and she looks like she doesn't know what to do.

"I want to touch you," I tell her in a low voice as I unclasp the button on her jeans and pull the zipper down. She tries to get off of me but then my hand is in her pants, my fingers pressed against her clit and she gasps hard and falls into me, grabbing my shoulder.

"God, Sophie," she says breathlessly as she closes her eyes. She looks like she's about to protest again though so I start to press more firmly, rubbing her slowly but with enough pressure that I knew she wouldn't be able to say no for very long. She moans then, her nails digging into my shoulder.

I really don't know much about what I'm doing, I just kind of figure it's like masturbation in reverse. And by the way Parker was reacting, I'd say my guess was pretty good. She's panting a bit and I go on, "I need to feel you inside me, Parker."

"Fuck," she whispers in what sounded a lot like defeat. She moans again as I continue the movements with my fingers and she lets out a breath before looking at me. We lock eyes for a moment and then her hands find their way to her pants and she pushes them off of her body, stepping out of them before raising one of her legs on to the arm of the couch, giving me room. "I hate you," she whispers. I smirk.

"No you don't."

"God," she breathes out heavily again as I rub her a little faster. "No… I don't…." Then her head falls to my shoulder and she closes her eyes, gasping and holding on to me like she life depended on it. "Sophie…"

Hearing Parker moan my name made me feel a little bolder, so I slid my fingers down a bit and inside of her, and the feeling made both of us gasp. It was like being inside myself, but at the same time it was _nothing _like being inside myself at all. Parker wraps her other arm around my neck to hold herself up and she brings her hips down in time with my hand, making me fill her even deeper. "Oh god," she breathes out against my neck. "Yes…"

Her hand that was digging her nails into my shoulder start to fall downwards, and before I knew what she was doing suddenly it's underneath my skirt, working its way around my panties and then…

"Bloody hell!" I gasp out as I try to keep my knees from buckling from underneath me. "Parker!"

Parker's head rises to look at me as she's gasping, pushing her hips against my fingers. We lock eyes for a moment before her fingers work magic against my clit, rubbing me in a way I can't even do as good when it's just myself and it's my turn to grab onto her, feeling the familiar feeling already start to rise through my body. "Oh my god… you… _god…."_

I couldn't even express in works how good she was or how she was making me feel, all I could do was spread my legs wider for her and continue doing what I guess I was doing remarkably well for her. She's crying out and pushing against my hand harder, and I curl my fingers and press down in the right spot and all of a sudden she's screaming. I can feel her walls tighten around my fingers and I gasp as her orgasm makes her put incredible pressure on a spot that sends me tumbling over the edge as well.

I think I might have passed out for a minute, because I didn't remember both of us falling to the ground, yet when I realize what was going on finally we were both half naked and tangled on top of each other, both trying to come down from the high we were on. I look over at her and fall back, my head resting against the floor.

That was the most incredible orgasm I have ever had in my life, and she wasn't even _inside_ me. Jesus.

Parkers gaze catches mine and she smiles at me before laying down next to me on my wood floor. She takes my hand in hers and we do nothing but look at each other for awhile. When she spoke, it was a light question, almost joking, but I didn't take it that way. "Are you going to finally admit that you like women now?" she said it with a little laugh, but I furrowed my eyebrows.

"I don't… I mean I might like you but I don't…" I look away from her before finishing softly. "I'm not gay."

"Bisexual," she corrects, like she's amused with me.

I look back at her and say seriously, "I'm not that either."

Then the amusement is out of her eyes and she pauses before letting out a big sigh. "You're still in denial." She said it like it she couldn't believe it, and I just look at her before sitting up. "We just had sex and you're _still _in denial."

"I'm not—"

"You are," she interrupts before sitting up herself and gathering her clothes up. She sighs again before looking at me and says, "This was a mistake."

"But…" I start, not believing she just said that it was a mistake. _She_said that.

"Sophie, I like you. I want to be with you," she tells me before rising and starting to put back on her clothes. I get up and gather my own things, all while staring at her like I can't believe what she's getting at. "But I'm not going to be another secret of yours."

After she's dressed she goes into her room to get the rest of her things and I go after her. "Parker…" I try, but I don't know what to say.

"My apartments done now," she tells me without looking at me. She's shoving her clothes into a bag and I can do nothing but stare at her. When she picks it up she looks at me, "I'll see you at work."

And then she leaves me again, and I yet again I have that ripping feeling tearing through my chest. What did I do wrong? I had sex with her, I know she wanted that. I wanted that too, so why…?

I just sigh and lean my head against the wall. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep letting her leave me like this. I think I need her a little bit.

Fuck… I think I need her a lot…

**THE END**

(this is actually going to turn into a three part series, so stay tuned for part three!)


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